About a trip
Based on several dictionaries, “trip”, as a noun, is a journey or excursion that someone makes to a particular place.
In this case, this someone is me and this trip is my new journey in life to reclaim the health and harmony of my soul, mind, and body.
My name is Panagiotis Zafeiriadis (also known as Panagiotis Z Panos), and at the beginning of 2018, I decided to quit everything I was doing and start over. After an incident occurred to me at that time, it was vital for me to begin this new trip in life. A trip to reconnect with myself, find my true inner peace, and regain the joy, ease, and lightness of my life.
trip | trIp
nouna journey or excursion that you make to a particular place.
What this website is all about?
After realising that I always enjoyed variety in life and didn’t like to do the same thing over and over again, I decided to give it a try. So, I started putting myself into new, different things and experiences one at a time. But, always, depending on my needs, likes and interests. As a result of this process, in 2022, I left on a long bike trip to discover further myself and the world I live in.
At the same time I decided to create this blog to share stories of what I have discovered, learned and experienced, during this quest, and hopefully inspire some of you, as many others have inspired me. It is wonderful to imagine the life you truly want, but it is even greater to actually live it.
In this blog, you can also find a little shop, which I made it to help me on this new trip in life. You are more than welcome to check it out and get or share anything you like.
I wish you happy reading, and I am truly grateful that you are here.
You can scroll down to find out more about it, or go straight to my stories.
P.S. At this point, I’d like to say that I’ve always been a very private person. As a result, doing this blog now and sharing all these with you is a huge challenge for me. Nevertheless, I consider it to be a necessary step in this new trip in life. It’s another way for me to accept who I am. To become more comfortable with what I’m doing and build more confidence and faith in me. I don’t know how long it will last, how far it will go, or if others will like it. What matters most is that I did it and I gave it a real try! Thank you, a lot, for all!
Table of contents
The wake-up call
It all began in the summer of 1980 in Thessaloniki, Greece, when I saw the first light, took my first breath, and my trip into this life officially started. Since then, step by step, choice by choice, I had become a person with big ambitions, vanities, perfectionism, careerism, and workaholic attitudes. A person with a lot of stress, anger, dissatisfaction, negativity, obligations, obsessions, restrictions, and so on (the list was quite long). Due to all those things, it was not that difficult to end up an unhealthy person (physically, mentally, emotionally) and to lose any kind of balance in my life.
Of course, there were many signs and alerts (like burn-outs, breakdowns, physical pains, accidents, health issues, etc) which indicated that I was going off track. Although, they were not strong enough for my stubborn mind to get the message. Until one day, back in 2018, I ended up in the hospital and during my first night there I finally got it. This happened when I saw the nurses picking up an elderly man who had just died in the bed next to me. That event was the big wake-up call for me.
Consequently, in the following two weeks of my hospitalisation, where I had to stop almost everything, I began to think about how I reached that point. The first thing I realised was that even if I had some nice periods and moments in my life, they weren’t the norm. All of them looked like individual fireworks that lit up and coloured randomly, a life I didn’t enjoy much. They usually didn’t last long, and were never enough. They were just quick, random ways to escape temporarily from the majority of things in a life that I didn’t enjoy. I was stuck with things (like studies, lifestyles, jobs, goals, habits etc) that were never really me, but for some reason, I believed they were.
The old-age-classic question
As a child, I remember having a hard time answering the old-age-classic question, “what do you want to do/become when you will grow up?”. As the years went by, and I was growing up, the answer to this question became even harder to come by. Because of this, a strange kind of stress and pressure started to grow inside me. Like there was a deadline for answering it. What would happen if I reached it without finding it? That’s it? Everything ends? No one could really tell.
The only thing I always remember truly enjoying was being outside and exploring different things and places. Regardless of whether it was in the next alley or gravel road to where I lived, or in a different place completely, far away from home. No matter if it was somewhere new or already known. Each time was like diving into the unknown, looking for new little gems that would mean something to me. I always believed that the real life was somewhere out there waiting for me to explore it. Full of little “treasures” that will give me the knowledge I needed to understand myself and the world I was brought to live in.
The point of no return
Although, the more I grew up, the more I forgot and stopped listening to my true needs. I gradually replaced them with numerous other things that were considered to be more important, critical, and mature. This led me to spend most of my adult life in front of a computer screen, studying and working as a web designer and developer. And all of these, to build something that matters. But to whom? Certainly, not to me. But this was proved several years later when I reached a point where I collapsed physically, emotionally, and mentally.
A point where I couldn’t see myself continuing to live the way I had been living. A point where I had to stop doing that to myself. A point where I needed to take a break and clear my mind, so I could see how I could continue my journey in this life. A point where I had to make the biggest and most significant decision since I came to this world. To help myself.
That whole hospitalisation experience seemed like my last chance to do it. As if I were visited by similar spirits with the story “The Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. The past, the present, and the ‘yet to come’ ones. Wicked and spooky, but strong enough to keep me alive at the same time.
The vicious circle
So, as soon as I left the hospital, I began this vital new trip in life. A trip to reconnect with myself, find my true inner peace, and regain the joy, ease, and lightness of my life. Those pure and genuine ones that arise from my true inner being, which were lost and buried somewhere deep inside me.
One of the first things I did was to quit my job and close my business at that time. Furthermore, I began to speak with people I trusted and knew would be able to help me greatly at that point. Even so, after a while, I observed that I was starting to do new kinds of circles based on my old bad habits. A new kind of stress and frustration started to grow and was ready to trap me again in the same old known loops.
That was the moment I realised that I was still in this unhealthy vicious circle and I had to find a loophole to break it. After considering and trying several solutions, the only one that seemed more promising to me was to leave. I needed to get away from all the places, situations, and people (even loved ones) that were pulling me back to my old life. I needed to find a new and fresh place that would help me to gradually find myself again.
vicious circle | vɪʃ.əs ˈsɜː.kəl
nouna continuing unpleasant situation, created when one problem causes another problem that then makes the first problem worse.
The loophole
Thankfully, Alexander Technique (AT) was there to show me the way. The Alexander Technique is not really a technique in the way we define the term ‘technique’. It is more likely a method that teaches you how to do things in a more efficient way for yourself. It teaches you how to become aware of yourself holistically and stop doing things that can hurt you (in short or long term). And, as with most things in life, everyone has a different reason for getting into it and a different path to take.
My reason was to resolve a couple of body issues that had developed during my everyday life and work (after trying mostly everything before). During this process, I was so fascinated by the whole new perspective that I wanted to take it further. First, I considered returning to the university to study physiotherapy, occupational therapy, or psychology. But after giving it a try, I realised that this type of square education, which I had for years, wouldn’t help me much with this new quest in life. I needed something entirely new and out of the box. So, with the encouragement of my Alexander Technique teacher at that time, I took a short backpacking trip to several AT training courses in the UK and Ireland. The goal was to find a course and a place that would fit me and my needs well.
Luckily, I found them, both in one place. In the land of Eire — Ireland. It was funny because it was the biggest underdog on my list. But, from the first moment I saw it appear on the horizon (from the ferry), I felt something for it. A kind of connection. Something in the atmosphere was telling me that this was it! Even though the weather was not very welcoming, I still enjoyed my visit. Especially the West Coast (Galway), where I was staying and finally moved to. The Emerald Isle was my biggest underdog. But I have always liked underdogs. Perhaps because I always considered myself to be one. And this particular one was meant to be my new home and the place where I was reborn.
The pandemic
The first few months were quite challenging. But I was in a place where I felt safe, and was surrounded by people who helped me a lot in my quest to find myself again. During this period, I focused on easing a lot of my body’s accumulated tension, facing and dealing with my fears, and becoming more aware of my responses to several stimuli. I wanted to understand how I respond, react, operate, and think, so I could slowly get my balance back in life. Thankfully, the people I met at the Alexander Technique school I chose to attend were a great support during this process.
However, seven months later, the Covid-19 pandemic emerged, lockdowns were introduced, and almost everything was stopped (including the school).
Nevertheless, for some reason, I welcomed this new situation with a strange kind of positivity. The clock that had been chasing me my entire life was now frozen. I finally had “all the time in the world” to look deeper into myself and hopefully get the answers I needed. It was not always pleasant and easy, and occasionally, it looked like I was going backwards and getting worse. But everything was part of the process and I was willing to deal with all sides of it. After all, ‘if you zoom out, you will see that the average line of your process keeps going upwards’ – my AT teacher, in Greece, used to say to me. Like when you are hiking to the top of a mountain. You keep going up, but sometimes you have to go down and then up again before you finally reach the summit.
The big answer
While working on myself during the pandemic, I realised that the answer to the old-age-classic question was always there in me. It was waiting for me to see it, believe it, and follow it. It was my only desire, which had not changed since I was a child. Being outside and exploring the world in my own way. Meeting people, connecting with nature, and learning things that will help me grow in a healthy and balanced way. Creating and finding opportunities to discover all these little gems that will assist me in filling up the puzzle of my road to my true inner being. All of these with the hope that when the time comes that someone will say to my body to rest in peace, my soul will already have found it. I would have lived my life and I would have gone on another trip.
So, this is it. That’s what it’s all about. It’s just a trip to find peace, joy, and balance in life. Reclaim the health and harmony of my soul, mind, and body. Explore the world in my own way and live the life I truly want.
I understand that current times may not be the most ideal, due to pandemic and epidemics, wars, economy, and so on. But there were and will always be things that keep me from doing what I really want. Excuses that will make me wait for the “perfect” moment to do it. Therefore, I decided to stop waiting, to stop seeing obstacles and focus on the positive aspects of things. To take this as another opportunity to start seeing the glass as half-full instead of half-empty.
This was one of the first things I focused on changing in my new life. Although, it wasn’t easy because this old bad habit had roots that were quite long and strong. But the moment I started doing this, it was the moment I started to notice all the positive things were happening around me. It was as if the universe suddenly stopped being against me, and came to my side. After all, ‘we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are’ – my AT teacher in Ireland used to say to me. So true and so real.
Thank you for reading and see you somewhere out there!
Until then,
Be well, Breathe and Live!
The dream team
Blackie, the blackbird (the bike);
Monzo, the blue dragon (the mascot + cameraman);
and Panos, the human being (myself) are finally ready to hit the road!
The photo was taken when I closed the door behind me in April 2022, and I began my first trip around the world. But I didn't know it yet!
... and maybe support it?
If so, please check my little shop, where you can find a few different ways to do it!
... or you can just share it : )
